The Truth About My Scar
by Toph Be Fong
Summary: People think that just because I was a prince I am adored. No one knows that I used to be the queen of fire nation. I wasn't just a general,I was a father.Just because we're royalty doesn't mean we went through life without scars. Some of us can hide them
1. Departure

(A/n: I dont know why I feel the need to mention this but I was listening to Panic at the disco (nails for breakast tacks for snacks) while writing this so..yes!)

The night was very still on firenation shores. The ocean just barely layed her arms onto the sandy beach but very slowly and deeply pulled them back. The walk was very far yet every time she turnned her head back to the grand palace at the center of the nation it seemed to loom over her, as if it watched her every step ensuring she left. She had finally come to the mouth of the island where an iron boat waited impatitionally for her to board and as soon as the unniverse allowed for her to leave. Even now the ship appeard more intimadating than the palace that eyed her cautiously. And she knew the horrors that no ocean could erode away that seeped deep into the island's core. Into the palace's core. But...this island full of secrets and murder was the only home she had ever come too. Only in her adult hood did she ever visit outside this island. She felt as if her only home was now an evil place that had no room for a heart such as her's. Princess of the firenation was now...banished. But she knew it was for him, and if Zuko was going to live, than her banishment was nothing. Ursa had asked Iroh to meet her at the shores before she had to leave, yet so far she had not seen a soul, with the exception of that dark ship calling to her. Ursa did not blame Iroh though, he had just lost his son and returned home to find his brother had desired his brithright. Still she wished he was with her...

"No sister of mine is going to go unprotected" A sigh of releif had left her as she turnned her head to see Iroh with a forced smile.

"But I'm not your real sister...sister in law actually"

Iroh shook his head "It matters not." There was a silence, the ocean threw the largest wave to the shore than it had all night. When it calmed Iroh found Ursa at his feet sobbing. "My dear what"  
"I DID IT IROH!" Her throat strained but forced the rest of her confession. "I ended the life of that recheted man!" Against her will Iroh faced her. "I killed your father but not of my own desire!" He whipped her face dry, a strange sinsation of his concerne of Ursa dominated the one for his father. "If I didn't...Ozai would have killed Zuko, HIS ONLY SON! For a birthright! I had no choice...and for that I am banished and can never see him or these beautiful shores again." Iroh didn't ask her to explain the whole story, she was in great distress. She clung to him as if he had an answer for this all to end, the pain, the unknown she would face on her own, he had no response to that. After a while Ursa quieted and sat up on her knees looking at Iroh how worried he must have been, how scared she was. "Forgive me"

"I understand" They both stood and begain walking towards the ship now pouring out steam. "I just want you to be careful and to be in touch..."

"I'll send a messanger hawk to this very beach when I can. Iroh...I'm not sure what will become of Zuko, will you please look after him?"

Iroh smiled geniunly this time. "Of course I will, Zuko is my dear nephew, I will make sure no harm comes to him. What of Azula?"

Ursa sighed and glanced back at the palace still waiting for her depart. "I do not worry of her. Ozai takes great care of her..." For the last steps to the ship Iroh held her hand or Ursa held his, he spoke not of his loss but she felt it the same content of a smaller dose. The ramp fell and let out a bit more of steam. Ursa slowly let go of his hand, at the last second Iroh reached for it again, she caught it. His forehead layed on the back of her palm, she felt it dampen. "I'm sorry...I just miss Lu Tin so much" Ursa stepped toward him again urging the captain to wait as he stood at the end of the ramp.

"Iroh, Lu Tin is still with you..." She kissed the crown of his head and gripped his hand again. "He would be so proud of you, I know my nephew"

"Yes...now it is time I know mine" They smiled and dirfted as the sea pulls it's insides to other lands. "Goodbye Ursa!"

"Farewell Iroh, Love Zuko as I do!"

As Iroh treded back to the palace he noted that the sea was more fearsome than it was moments ago, and that Ursa's ship was beyond his sight. 


	2. Empathy For My Uncle And Trutle Ducks

1/29/08

(A/N: I believe whole heartedly that Azula is insane...so there XP)

The ship was very cold despite the many lit fire places about the ship. Ursa wasn't too fond of being kept in her room and often left it for the deck above. The captain would eventually find her and scold her as a parent would a child that had she been seen still in fire nation waters too many questions would be asked. He did come to the deck but did not say anything. It made her about as steady as the ship had been in the water. She glanced at him.

"Captain Khou you may join me if you wish…I'm quite friendly I'm told."

"Forgive me for my informalities but…you are in fact no longer royalty so…I shall address you as your maiden name which was?"

"Just Ursa…"

"Ahem…Ursa we are about to reach earth kingdom waters…You will be released at a very inconspicuous location that is still technically fire nation waters…you'll have to walk along the beach for us to avoid any confrontation."

"I understand Captain" He turned and as he left he said in a whisper yet enough for her to hear.

"I would have done the same" She didn't bother to respond to his empathy.

Upon waking from his sleepless night, Ozai felt a sort of drop in his stomach, the kind when nerves and weld up inside and burst all over the place like mess. His eyes fell to the other side of the bed. The side once occupied by his lovely bride, his Ursa. He hadn't realized how long he had been glaring at her untouched sheets and her perfectly fluffed pillow until a horrid bang came to his door. So sudden it was, he blinked and lingered until his body moved out of his bed and to the door. "How wasteful" he muttered. Ozai yanked open the door abruptly, it was his tea enthusiast brother. He did not spare Iroh even aware of his terrible loss. "Iroh so strange to see someone so lazy awake at this hour." Iroh said nothing but stared at him with such emptiness. Ozai inquired as to why he was there but he remained silent and just watching him as he spoke.

"Why is it you came to me? Hm?" Ozai moved across the room beginning to fasten his hair tight around his crown. "I have no time to waste being fire lord." He noted that Iroh's expression had altered. "Oh yes…" he stood walking towards him so venomously he spoke. "Is this what you want?" He held out the golden flame that had rested upon every first born before him. "Well had you stayed in Ba Sing Sei perhaps it would be rightfully yours…" Ozai waited for Iroh's reaction, there was none just his stare that made Ozai have that same feeling he had when he had just woken up that morning. "But no…you wallowed in your son's death. Probably drowning yourself in tea!" At that Ozai mused himself and the thick silence with a laugh. Frustrated at Iroh's mule like nature to not show any expression he moved passed him with nothing but a spiteful glare and - "How could someone like you…a weak hearted loaf rule such a magnificent country?" Iroh stood for a while long and took a deep breath.

He rubbed his eyes, freed them of tears and sighed deeply. "Good Bye my Brother…"

It had been several months before Zuko had seen or spoken to his father upon his mother vanishing. No on had explained to him why or where she had gone. Not even Iroh, who had been spending extensive time with him, even when doing the simplest of things such as feeding the turtle ducks. Other than Azula mocking him, Zuko didn't really mind though. His mother used to do those kind of things with him and enjoyed his uncles company. There were times when being around uncle Iroh had made Zuko forget his mother. Not that he didn't think about her or want her home but he seemed to not miss her as much as before. Iroh was there in fact, every moment since she had left.

"The turtle ducks are fascinating creatures" Iroh said as Zuko tore the bread off and carefully tossed the pieces into the water. "They can fit their whole body into that shell that is only as big as their back"

"I guess that's -…" Zuko's voice descended, Azula had invited herself into the garden where the two of them sat. "Why is she here?"

Iroh took another sip of his tea "The best leaders can even tolerate their most troubled adversary"

"Hey Zu Zu" One of the other two girls that always hovered around her giggled.

Zuko's cheeks flashed red "DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

"Aww" She cued "Can't take a little name calling?"

Zuko grunt and clinched his fist "What you talking about? You're just dad's little snitch!"

Azula's eyes narrowed and motioned to Zuko that Iroh was not paying attention to them. "Wanna see something cool?" Zuko looked back over at Iroh who was now smiling at him waiting for him to return so they could share another cup of tea. But he didn't smile back.

"Sure. What is it?"

"Yeah Azula" The same girl taunted towards the young prince. "What is it?"

"Come on I'll show you" She sprinted off towards the other side of the garden where the walls stood tall and firm. They all followed her far from the eye of Iroh and waited anxiously. Azula disappeared behind a pair of bushes and started rustling about, a while later she reappered with something held behind her back. "The mama turtle duck just had some new eggs, one of the ducklings couldn't swim very well so I played with it."

"So?" Zuko choked on his laugh for she mocked him for playing with them so much.

Grasped in her hand was wilted lifeless turtle duck. It's back had been ripped away exposing the fleshy interior. The creature's eyes where dark, glazed over with it's own blood. The belly had been gutted in several places it's insides slightly pouring out of the wounds. Zuko had not forced a word from his mouth, for he was speechless. Azula had mutilated the poor defenseless animal and was showing it off as though it were a trophy. "Unc-"

"Shut your mouth or I'll leave this in your bed!" But it was too late for Azula's sake.

"What are you- AZULA! Put that dead-" Iroh stopped and realized what Zuko and the other two girls had realized. "Azula…why did you.." There was no answer, just a fact, Azula was Ozai's daughter.


	3. The Sea Is Watching, Always Watching

**(A/N: "Say hello insanity" Oingo Boigno)**

Zuko's mind was restless; it constantly flipped from the horrid scenes he'd experienced. From Azula holding that poor creature she had mutilated to his mother leaving him. The both upset him immensely. But even worse, when they collided in his nightmares. He sat up clinching is forehead in both of his palms. He felt fire's touch at his neck and downward along his back. His breath was deep and rapid. From the darkness slow footsteps neared him. Zuko leaned over to his end stand and slipped his precious knife into his the bind of his fingers. With a simple flick of his wrist, having his palm upward he bore a diminutive flame. He could see the room a little better this stranger was rather short, eyes flashed open reviling a pair of golden irises. Azula, her eyes were so much like and unlike his own. Zuko no longer found even the slightest of innocence in her eyes, as he recalled from the afternoon before when she paraded around the turtle duck like it was something to behold, he saw it all dissipate from her. He still wasn't sure if he should drop his knife while she hopped onto his bed he brightened his flame.

"Can't sleep now Zuko?" She rolled her eyes and shot a flame to Zuko's lanterns and he dropped his. "What did ya think a monster was coming and you'd have to kill it with that silly knife?"

"Azula you are a monster!" Her eyes were stunned, Zuko noticed how she went from a vicious cocky mood to…stunned. Like that! He raised his brow, confused at her reaction to this simple insult.

"Still that tongue of yours, you know nothing of what you speak!" She snapped throwing all his pillows of the bed in anger she leaned towards him "Who told you that? Mother? Hm? Uncle? I'm just a child like you!" She lingered near him waiting for an answer.

"But you are! Look at what you did to that turtle duck!" She thought for a moment and considered this.

"Oh yes, I snatched that poor thing and snuffed it's life out! Zuko you have no idea how stirring it is when you hold a life and with one motion it will disappear. Even something like a turtle duck, how amazing it must feel for father"

"What do you mean?"

She looked back at him and away from her fantasies "Oh well he could eliminate anyone from the fire nation, hm the whole world it must be great to have that kind of power" Azula slipped off his bed and walked to the door, "Too bad you'll never have that kind of experience, I mean dad is going to kill you…just a matter of time" She left, leaving the door open.

* * *

**_Nine Years Before Ursa's Banishment. Two years before Zuko is born._**

The palace was very settle and still, what a transformation in feeling with just one person gone from it. Ursa trailed along the hall ways with the view of the beaches that circled the whole island. She was fascinated with the water and how it moved and controlled itself, how it held so many lives within it. She smoothed her hand down the railing and leaned on it just watching the ocean and admiring it. Iroh had caught her and joined her in gazing.

"The sea is very strong, and very frightening."

"Yes, but not as frightening as the spirit world I imagine"

"The spirit world wasn't scary just…different, confusing for humans like you and me. In the spirit world everything is simple"

"What's it like Iroh?"

"Well…it's very light"

Ursa laughed a bit "Light? Like bright?"

Iroh shook his head "No no" He sighed thinking of a way to explain "It's like a release of all the troubled thoughts you have. You experience a lifting of your soul. In the physical world everything is so heavy, but from my visit I've learned to make things in my life a bit lighter" A breeze let itself in and lifted Ursa's hair and the banners behind them with the fire nation insignia. It settled and all was calm but her thoughts.

"Your feelings, do they become lighter?"

He smiled and turned to her placing his hand upon hers "Towards other people the only way to make them lighter is the interaction you have with that person"

She sighed relieved. Wait relieved?! Why was she relieved? He's her brother in law what feelings could he retain of her? In their silence she admitted to herself that she was rather fond of Iroh. He was so kind and always had peacefulness along with his strong will. Never though, could she confront such feelings even if the opportunity had presented itself. He was her brother practically. Not only that but she didn't even know what these feelings meant or what the even were.

"How is my brother treating you Ursa?"

"Well he's been absent lately, I'm not sure where but other than that he's distant"

"You say it so casually; do you no longer have passion for him?"

It came so abruptly and without thought "I only hold passion for my garden and yo-" Her confession cut short by her common sense.

"Ursa you should never be ashamed of your feelings no matter who they are towards."

Oh no? She thought. This is madness! A break in a sane mind full of casual normal thoughts, not ones that entertained her of a love that could nor would ever be. Even conceiving such things in her mind, in her heart! Was treason to her husband and her country and possibly her common sense. Ursa reached for her throat so it could no longer articulate such senseless notions. Her mouth lay just agape but no words came of it. Her heart's ambitions astonished her in such a way. Though she was not the only one astounded. Yes this was insane, no it didn't make any sense what so ever but it felt so right when she put the sentence "I love you" to Iroh! How had this happened? Her mind tread in circles of events that might have led to this but there was no significant occurrence. Just his company, his kindness, his humor, his tea, it had made everything so perfect for her when all there was but shadows! Even so, now this conclusion so obvious in her mind…what to do of it?

"Iroh forgive me, but I…cannot trace the origin of that in which I dare not share with anyone perhaps not even you, though even it has just fully dawned on me at this moment, I have known it for some time now but fear has kept me from even realizing it myself. That my affection for you is none I have known until my eyes met yours." There was such a stillness, Iroh's expression was a cross between stunned and confusion. Her stomach dropped and her nerves shot into mass hysteria. Across the palace a set of waves struggled with each other to reach their calm rest at the shore. A wind picked up and forced the waves into more of a fight to the sand than a flow through the water. It was long before order was restored and the settled onto the shore. Just before the last wave had slammed its entirety onto the beach Iroh made such connections to Ursa.

Iroh held a different kind of warmth than fire. It wasn't just heat but, comfort that brought her to deepen their kiss. Another wave rose and they pulled back. The water stirred itself again but not upon the surface in its core, currents swirled about into a tight spin.

**(A/N: I know this whole IrohXUrsa might be a bit weird but that's the least of your worries this story gets really dark…and really good in my opinion. Try and catch the symbolism. Aw gee I kinda hoped I have a bit more popularity at this point but all well thanks a lot 4444)**


	4. I had no choice

**(A/N: While reading try not to take certain lines so literally I'll put these in italics so you can just consider other possibilities of the phrase or word. Anyway _Stay with me Please don't go)_**

The bed was so different now. It held two sides of itself to Ursa and they contrasted each other so significantly. One of them, she was accustomed to but now it starred at her as though she looked upon a stranger. How things had changed from one sunrise to a sunset. Yet even before, this bed wasn't right for her, and she knew but denied it until her heart spoke…and was heard. Her eyes fell shut and she considered the other. The more her thoughts danced on the idea, the more she coveted that warmth. How it moved her! The feeling of his flesh clinched under her sweated palm, the fire in her soul, that strain in her body and how her heart thrashed beyond chest capacity. _Ursa swallowed saltwater for the first time and it tasted magnificent._

This night, however, deepened on another matter. She disrobed and moved towards Ozai, he gave little change to his expression. How that lack of motion despised her! As if he expected this. A smile crept to her mouth and pulled it as far as her will would let it. Her heart was drowning. Ozai looked upon her bare form with a dagger like grin. It was hard, but she had pushed all the images of the night before to the bottom of the ocean. Ursa had not spoken to Iroh of this matter, for it would upset him and throw him into a prison of jealousy. Ursa had knowingly become with child and to save the two of them for their actions, she had to lay with Ozai.

Everything was coated with a thick uncertainty and lucky for Ursa, one that Ozai had not detected. What a beautiful liar she was! How easy it was to paint the things he wanted to see, expected to see upon her face. She held him _but was slowly and forcefully pushing him away from her._ Ozai's weight wasn't as great as it had been in the past. In her heart and in her mind. For now, she hid anything that would suggest that she was not his loving and loyal wife.

Their "love making" had been over quickly and there was an empty void of passion ripped between them even now as he lay asleep beside her. However, they would not speak of this short, unloving procreation, never. This was partly why Ursa had strayed from her husband's arms and his bed. Though, never did she expect to find his brother or anyone for that matter to seal what had been slashed open and left unhealed. Anything and everything to Ozai was business. Even sex. It was for child purposes only it seemed. When they spoke, which was decreasing rapidly by the day, it was concerning her baring a child.

Ursa had deserted her side of the bed and opted it for another, one full of warmth. Upon entering Iroh's room, she took note that he was in fact awake due to the glow seeping out from the gap of his door and floor. She pushed open his door and was greeted with a smile and a wave for her to join him upon the window seat that looked out to the ocean. Ursa sat parallel to him and wrapped her fingers in his. They didn't speak, for a while they just immersed themselves into nature's birth. Water… was truly mother nature. Ursa envied the ocean and how it brought life to so many but was spouse to none.

"Iroh…" She began with a bit of concerned flowing in her speech he listened intently. She inhaled deeply and faced him "I am with child, and I know, I know in my heart and all that I am that the child I hold in my body, belongs to you." Her eyes swelled and poured out tears, she swallowed them. "But I felt I had no other choice," Ursa cleared her throat and rather than fight them, let her tears fall like rain. "I wont lie, Ozai will believe that the child is his own…" She hated to see that Iroh had taken his eyes away from her for the first time because of the sadness pushing to the surface. "Forgive me…my love but I…"

He shook his head and trailed his eyes back to hers. "No, you had no choice. You did what you had to, but…as Ozai's wife you will have to do it again." He eyed her, Iroh stared her down and waited.

With so much hatred and regret in her ocean she raised a wave to him. "I know, Iroh," She leaned into him and placed her lovely lips upon his. "Please believe me when I say this, I love you. You and this child only." Ursa collapsed in his lap and sobbed. He stroked her hair and exchanged his attention from his love to the sea that surrounded his home…his prison.

* * *

**_One month before expected birth of Ursa's first child_**

During the growth of their child, Iroh and Ursa had kept themselves and their relationship privately. On this glorious spring morning they lounged under a beautiful tree that sprouted many beautiful blossoms that drifted in the wind upon falling from it's branches. The whole morning Iroh had spoken of the many customs he had observed in the earth kingdom while serving in the military. Ursa would normally be fascinated with all this talk, but she was so very distracted by the horrible pain she was feeling in abdominal and her lower back. Iroh had detected this sidetrack and inquired.

"Is something wrong my dear?" Ursa opened her mouth but no sound came through, her eyes locked shut and she gripped his hand. He felt all her strength tighten around his wrist and she finally formed words.

"Iroh…I"

He carried her. One leg chasing the other in speed. Iroh yelled for help for Ursa had gone into labor.

**(A/N: Forgive me for the wait I've had a rough week so there you are)**


	5. The Truth About My Scar Part One

_**(A/N: Sorry if it's short it seems so much longer on my computer… anyways just to let you know this is NOT the last chapter but I do hope you enjoy it, thanks for all the feedback and reviews!)**_

**Three Weeks After The Child's Birth**

Isa was the name that Ursa had chosen for her baby girl that filled her with a joy she thought impossible to reach after being with Iroh. 'How is it,' she wondered 'That I adore and love this child more than anything I have in this world and yet, we've only just met?' Everything about Isa she loved! Her tiny hands, the little hair she had and the softness of cotton upon her skin. And her eyes, they did not hold the color of the sun as most fire nation people did, or in Ursa's family for that, Isa's eyes where as dark and moving as the sea. There was no explanation for it, the doctor couldn't come up with a reason, nor could the monks residing in the temples with all of the nation's history. It made them all uneasy, including Ozai.

Ursa, was apprehensive. She wondered if there was something inside Ozai that made him distained from Isa _other than her eyes. _Iroh only saw Isa when he and Ursa had been left alone. For he could not contain himself. His emotions where crossed between a moving wonder of how he loved her, and how it measured no higher or lower than that of Lu Ten, and the depression he held, never would he be able to openly express the love that a father has for his daughter. For that, he was in anguish.

"She is so beautiful, I can't believe it"

Ursa smiled, he had been silent up until now, holding Isa must have given him strength. "Yes, I should like that Lu Ten see her…should we explain it to him?"

He kissed Isa and smoothed his hand over her face. "I don't know, he is only twelve, do you think he would understand?"

Ursa sat up and opened her arms, He moved to her. "You will know the answer, he is your son" Carefully Iroh passed Isa from his arms to Ursa's. "Iroh, I…I love you"

"I love you too, I think you should sleep now, Isa is already in her dreams. Goodnight." Ursa did not sleep though, she only watched Isa, her eyes shut and peaceful. Isa slept, through the afternoon and the night. She slept beyond the sunrise. She slept, she slept despite her mother trying to wake her. She slept even when her mother screamed, when she wept, she slept even when all attempted to wake her. _Isa would not wake, _she would not open her unique eyes, she would only sleep. Still she slept when the mass of flames covered her like a blanket, Isa even slept when she was placed into the ocean, and it rocked her, just as her mother had. Gently to and fro, she slept. Isa would always sleep, she would always be at peace, she would never feel the pains of life. Nor the neglect of her supposed father. All Isa would know, was love and joy.

* * *

**Approximately A Month After Isa's Death**

"I've seen this before, it is a rare syndrome but it seems that when a child is born, it lives healthy and perfect until about six months, or in this case but three weeks. The infant sleeps and never wakes up. It could have been caused by the fact that when Ursa gave birth it was premature. The child was not expected for at least another five weeks or so. It was unpredictable and unpreventable, all we can do now is pray that she is able to have other healthy children." the doctor sighed and shook hands with Ozai and left. Shortly after Ozai too left Ursa to her solitude she so desired. Unlike Isa, Ursa did not sleep. Not since the hour Isa had passed. It wasn't that she could not close her eyes and fall into slumber, it was the nightmares.

Ursa was haunted by such visions of everyone in the fire nation discovering her treachery and holding Isa as though she had been alive all along. They would hold her child and chain her down while she suffered, her ears would be full of crying, the crying of her baby. As for Iroh, he was always bound not far from her but dead as she was inside. She would then be burned, the fire would lick at her skin and tear it away like a flower from it's roots.

Now, she just sat and watched the sea. At times her eyes would bleed clear but she paid no attention to it. When food was brought to her she ate little but drank more than usual. Despite how much joy it had given her _Ursa had spit out the saltwater. _The content of the water had yes brought her happiness, but at the price of her child. Of course Iroh had come, and to him she only spoke.

"Ursa, you cannot continue this. I…" He released a sob that had being trapped in his throat for days. "I lost Isa as well…"

"I know…" she spoke with such emptiness yet sadness accompanied her tone. "Iroh, you do not have guilt as I do. Yes Isa was your child as she was mine but… "

_The truth about my scar is…_

_I had swallowed water that was not only not mine but opposite the cup given to me._

_I left my husband's bed for yours, never did it occur to me the consequences of it all._

_I bared your child and loved her, I loved her more than anything._

_And because I had betrayed my husband Isa was taken from us,_

_It was my fault! Iroh this is my punishment!_

_This is why Isa did not survive, she had to pay for what I had done!_

_I can't… ever experience what I did the night Isa was conceived._

_For if I do, _

_And I become with child again, with your child_

_They will all meet the fate same as Isa's _

_Iroh, my love I cannot endure that again. _

_Nor can you… I could not bare to see you as we are now._

_The truth is, I can never love you, again._

_Suffering and Pain with be the result of it. _

_A scar that I will never heal from is the absence of you and Isa._

They talked, for days it seemed but the sun had only come down and up again once. She told him of how she wanted him in her life, but it would conflict with her desire to be with him, to love him how a wife loves her husband. He told her of how he could not stand pretending he was just her brother in law. How he couldn't hide his affections only when they were alone. He wouldn't be able to stand that from time to time she would offer her body to his brother no matter how much she hated it. They came to a decision, Iroh would go away. And when he returned, they would just be, related by marriage.

(A/N: Hmm yes very sad...send me your thoughts!)


	6. Arrival

**(A/N: Hey there sorry about the wait for those who were waiting...happy easter! And here is what the easter bunny brought for you! And from you all as my easter present I want feedback and praise! Okay fine any feedback is fine...enjoy!)  
**

Despite his royalty, Iroh was the general for his skill and wisdom upon the battle field. The ability he displayed was remarkable never did he falter in combat, he couldn't afford to. Together, he and his son pushed dozens of soldiers into a hard defensive stance. Swift and fierce, Iroh took hold of the Earth Kingdom and shook it and its impenetrable wall. With his mind and body he did amazing things, wielding a universe of flames from his hands to the elegance of his combat that memorized and immobilized. Up until now he had been thrashing forward not wanting to stop for fear he would step back, backwards meant Ursa. It meant his strength to dissipate and his desire to flare into a confession he could not own up to. It meant death.

The valley was desolate and empty now, and Iroh grew tired and sat to drink his tea that had been waiting from him since the battle had sprung unexpected. But Iroh always expected everything… since his absence from his home he understood… truly that nothing was engraved into stone, destiny shifted just as the wind that carries the waves to shore. The captain had entered his tent, he was distraught and rushing of breath, "I came," He paused to breathe "I came general Iroh, with all the haste I had. COME! Lu"

He threw off his armor and sprinted to the edge of the valley where a collection of soldiers separated for him to see the gift of war, the only gift it brought. The silence of death was louder and more shaking than any battle cry or clash of weapons. Iroh fell. There, just before him was a massacre that forced most around him to whimper and vomit. Lu Ten, was suspended at a slant and held by a large spear that jetted from the earth. Blanketed upon his chest was blood and rubble, opened out of it came his life force, red and moving like fire. He lived, but just slightly, any movement on his part, could rip his wounds further and hasten his inevitable. Iroh came to his feet and forcedly jerked the spear out, angered empowered such raw strength. Lu Ten lay lifeless still looking about when his father held him, he swallowed. A smile spread over his lips, and then drifted out to sea.

How biased fate was. Two children lost now, one he hardly knew, the other all he knew. Iroh dipped his hands in fire, sprouting from his fingers it engulfed a lonely tree, out of aguish his knuckles collided with the ground and from it drew a bit of magma that now trickled on the surface as Iroh had calmed. He gazed at the burning tree, then he noticed other trees behind it leading to a forest. Full of creatures, and just to the east of it was the wall… what lay behind it. This tree and the others beyond it, it was not their bark that created the spear that struck Lu Ten, And yes some behind the wall had created that spear, and even plunged it into his body but!... With that there were others, who had never seen cross the wall, even so never asked to be a solider thus… destroying these trees and forest would not satisfy his depression nor would it revive Lu Ten.

"Men…we're going home, after I burry… my son"

_Dear Ursa,_

_I am returning home but not with the happiest intentions. During the battle Lu Ten was taken from me… He now staggers in the after life, the darkness Ursa, it's horrible. I need to see you. For years I've pushed you out of my thoughts but never my heart, and it's showing as I covet your comfort. Think me weak but I hold no more will, give me a will Ursa or I shall find reason to bargain with the spirits. I'm told Ozai desires the crown, he can have it! It is little importance to me…unlike you. I hadn't thought of Isa much until Lu Ten passed, now I can't stop! She is everywhere. I want you Ursa! I'll hide it if I must. I just need you. I will return soon forgive me for my briefness and perhaps forwardness; see me on the beach on the next moon._

_Love Iroh _

It was frightening how desperate and scared Iroh implied he was. She had hoped that he had calmed down a while since he'd written the letter which she received just hours before she was to depart. Because of her banishment the beach would be no place to speak of such things he mentioned in the letter. Ursa folded it and slipped it deep in her pocket along with a small portrait of Zuko. She had to make a move or Iroh would do something rash in his time of grief… she took to a brush and put it to a long parchment.

_Iroh…_

_By the time we meet on the beach you will be informed of my banishment, there we cannot speak so forwardly as you did in your letter that I am holding close. Upon my departure… Iroh I will give you reason and will. Ozai would have killed Zuko had I not taken the actions I did tonight, know that and listen to what I beg of you. When I learned I was with child again I thought I would never be happy again, but when Zuko arrived I consumed with so much joy I cried and held him. I see Isa in Zuko, her joy resides in him and it flourishes in me when I see him. I would give anything to know that he will always be protected. Iroh as your love, as the mother of your second child, protect him. Love him. Teach him all that you taught me. I know your desire to reach into the unknown and search for Lu Ten's soul and have it embodied, but you know that is madness and you would regret it. I'm not suggesting Zuko to replace Lu Ten he can't, just as he can't replace Isa… but let him be the reason you continue to move forward. I considered taking him away… with me and rendezvousing with you but, I decided it's not fair to Zuko. He deserves to live the best life with you and in the palace. He is entitled to his birthright. Perhaps Iroh…he will change the world with your influence. Perhaps when he becomes firelord… I will see him again… and you. _

_With love _

_Ursa_

* * *

_**Six weeks after Ursa's banishment**_

Along the beach she strolled, establishing now that wearing the longest robe wasn't the smartest idea, as it tangled in her step and stuck to the sand. She watched the ship disappear into the fog and mist of the ocean. Ursa collapsed onto the sand and starred at the water, how it reminded her of Isa's eyes… It occurred later that she had pushed all these thoughts to the corners of her mind but, she fully understood now. Never would she see her love or her son ever…her eyes welt up and she sobbed out loud. Soaking her hands with her tears she exhaled deeply trying to forget, but those thoughts lingered. So much had been taken from her… and she had no one to share her sadness with. Not her son to help forget her first scar, not her love to endure it with her, not even the firenation beaches to sooth her. Alone she sat surrounded by sand and a freezing breeze.

A hand cupped her shoulder. "Miss…" the man behind her kneeled and took hold of her other shoulder. "Are you alright?" She did not answer; she was too embarrassed to speak in sobs. "Oh miss please don't cry. Just take a deep breath" For some reason she did as told. "See there you go…" He had such a nice voice, he sat next to her. "Now, would you like to tell me what's wrong?" He paused for a moment "Was it that firenation ship? Did it scare you? It's long gone you-"

"No, it didn't scare me…" Still she hid away her face. She was thankful now that she had taken off all her firenation clothing and jewelry. All she kept was Iroh's letter and Zuko's picture in her bag. The man instructed his crew…or at least she imaged to be his crew to get her some fresh water.

"My name is Hakoda. I am captain of that ship over there" He motioned to a large brown vessel; across it was massive blue sails with the crescent moon sewn in. "We've just come from the south pole to see the earth kingdom generals. They've had quite a scare with the dragon of the west, suppose he just packed it up after his son died… Strange behavior for firenation don't you think?"

"My name is Isa" She lied. "I…was crying because" she thought for a moment. "I don't remember how I got here…or where I am."

"I see…that is dreadful. Do you come from the Earth Kingdom, Isa?"

"I don't know" She cried again this time her own life motivated her tears, if they knew she was from the west, they might kill her on the spot or worse.

He put a cup to her lips and down her throat flowed cool and pure water. "It's from the purest springs" he mentioned. She swallowed and took another sip. "Miss Isa, I would feel a lot better if you came with me and my crew, they may be men but their harmless I promise… I myself have a wife with two children." He paused. "Maybe we can find someone…on the way to the capital that recognizes you. Please I don't want you out here all by yourself…I would die if my wife or children were alone."

Most people in the firenation didn't know what Ursa looked like, it was tradition that in the royal family only the fire lord and his family were seen, thus she would be safe in the earth kingdom, who were they to say she was former princess and matter of fact now queen of the fire nation? She nodded and Hakoda smiled picking her up.

"Don't worry" he said walking her towards the camp. "I'll keep you safe."


	7. Realization For My Dear Nephew

(A/N: I didn't feel the need to place the time changes in this one because they shift a bit often and you'll be able to tell anyways… so here we go!)

Nothing had to be said now, they lay on their knees staring into the river that was to carry their past away. Zuko had taken out the knife his dear uncle had given him many years ago, when they were still fire nation. He reached up to his hair and gripped it, at the base of the tie he slide hid knife clear across his hair, severing it from his head. He held it to Iroh and without hesitation he too cut the top knot upon his head and let it fall into the water and watched it be carried away from them… For a moment they sat in silence.

Long ago Iroh knew, he did not belong in the world of ruthless generals and lying siblings. Yet, he couldn't just explain it to Zuko it was a concept that had to be experienced. Just as he and Ursa had. Zuko kept his stare at the water, watching his distorted reflection, how clear everything was to him, it skipped his heart. Iroh placed his palm upon his shoulder and took in a deep breath. Now was the time to tell him, tell him what happened just months before his birth and his mother's banishment. It would come full circle to him and Zuko would understand there was no turning around, they were fugitives, they were traitors as far as Ozai and his family was concerned.

Iroh just barely opened his mouth to speak when footsteps came sprinting. There was panic in his nephew's eyes. He looked to him as though tears would pour out of his sunlit eyes. Iroh took hold of him and pulled him to the other side of the river and far into the forest beyond that. His hand clamped around Zuko's wrist, they pushed deeper into the thicket of trees until the footsteps stopped, they rested on a bolder still in silence.

"They will find us…" Zuko said solemnly "Azula has access to the best navy and army in the world…uncle we will be-"

"They are not going to find us…" At that moment they both noticed that Iroh was still holding Zuko's wrist, he released and continued "Zuko… I know all of the military's tactics they aren't going to get us. We'll…run away far away." He thought for a moment. "To Ba Sing Sei," Iroh decided that moment to hold off on his confession to Zuko, if his mother was still alive, she would be in Ba Sing Sei or at least on her way, together they would explain everything. Hopefully, they would be able to live in peace away from this horrible experience. And hopefully, the avatar would give them just that, hope.

"Why Ba Sing Sei?!" Zuko stood and smoothed his head over and stopped at the patch of hair, it was as if he had almost forgot, everything was going to change now.

"Zuko, The fire nation has never been able to breach Ba Sing Sei, I should know" He said with a bit of laughter hoping to lighten things, it didn't. "Ahem. We will be safe there until we figure out what to do." Zuko sat again this time in the dirt, his steady mouth denied what his eyes were screaming. "Zuko, as you might of guessed, we will never be able to return to the fire nation, it is not a place for you and me even your mother"

"MY MOTHER!?" He calmed himself "What do you mean?"

Iroh cleared his throat, he was dying for some tea. "Zuko do you know why your mother was banished?" His nephew shook his head. "Because she wanted to protect you from your father. Because she cared about you. She sacrificed her royalty and her life for you to live, unfortunately it was partly in vain."

"How?"

"She wanted you to become firelord, in hopes you would change the fire nation and the world with my influence.. And with her disappearance."

"So what does that have to with my banishment?"

"The way you cared about those soldiers. As far as you were concerned their lives were precious and valuable a concept the recent royal line has lacked. And because you refused to fight your father, because of your love and care for him, you were banished."

Zuko let his head drop. He felt betrayed, upon his initial banishment he had told himself his father was right and sent him away to learn why. His youth couldn't stand the harsh reality that he'd always known that was now sealed. "Then uncle, why were you banished?"

"Oh Me? I wasn't banished. I came with you Zuko because of two reasons. The first reason was because your mother asked me to take care of you. I felt so guilty after you got your scar" He paused and rejected the tears that wished to come forth, Ursa was in his thoughts. "And the other reason is because I care about you. What I said at the north pole was true."

"Uncle…do you know where she is?"

"No…I don't even know if-" Zuko held up his hand and shook his head. Iroh swallowed and stood. "Let us go, we have a long walk my dear nephew."

* * *

The sun still hid under the dark blanket of stars. Ursa sat up and looked around as if she were in a strange place. She rubbed her forehead. She hadn't expected it to be so hot in the Earthkingdom. The strangest thoughts had been floating in her mind. Ten years, it had been. She exhaled deeply and stood from her bed. Her slumber was full of visions with the memories that placed themselves so tightly in her mind.

She dwelled on them. With her eyes closed she could see everything. She saw Ozai, she felt him push her against the wall, she felt his breath upon her ear. "I'd always felt that there was something not right with our first born." He held her chin tightly so she could not hide away from his gaze "Our REAL first born." He dropped his full weight on her, there was no leaving, and there was no Iroh. "Tell me, why WHY did you leave my bed so suddenly after she was conceived? I'm sure you didn't realize that you're not as sneaky as you believe. Who did you go to?" Ursa noticed from the corner of her eye that Azula stood just feet from them starring, not confused or frightened just… curious.

"Azula sweetie, return to your bed" Ursa said, but she was still like a mountain. Ozai returned his attention to Ursa indifferent about Azula's presence.

"Why did Isa pass so quickly?" His fingers jabbed into her jaw "Tell me what really happened the night I thought was the creation of OUR child"

Ursa cried but she did not sob, she just starred at Ozai emotionless with tears streaming down her face, what a strange illusion it was. "You will not take away my child" Ozai dropped his hold, the way she stared at him, the way she spoke it shook him.

"Azula" She said, with the same tone as before "TO BED!" This time she listened instantly. "Ozai, calm yourself" Her tears disappeared along with her forcefulness. "I have a solution that will satisfy your desire and keep Zuko from suffering your mistake" His eyes narrowed.

"I'm listening…for now"

"If I go through with this, Ozai you will NEVER lay a hand on Zuko, you will not endanger his life especially on your behalf. I swear if you do the spirits will not hold me from inflicting twice what you did to Zuko" Ozai hid his astonishment, Ursa had never spoken in such a way before. She was bold and unafraid. It was Zuko's life who motivated her to be so, even if this proposition she was about to introduce meant never seeing or holding him again. "On this night, while your father will be expecting Zuko to parish by your hands I will-"

"ISA! Darling!" She jerked from her thoughts and collected herself. She pulled herself together and opened the door. Aunt Woo always woke early and loved to take her to tea or whatever shopping they needed. Ursa had found her village not long after she had meet Hakoda, who insured that she would be taken care of by her. Aunt Woo took her under her wing and never let go. She was an amazing woman. Aunt Woo or Woo-San as Ursa would sometime address her, always acted like an older sister to her, they would drink tea together and talk for hours, Ursa was grateful to her for not only giving her food and shelter, but Aunt Woo helped her laugh again.

"You know who is coming by" She motioned with a wink "Hakoda is making a visit, says he's going to stay and hopefully wait for Bato"

"I see" Ursa said steeping out into the hallway. "Where is Bato?"

"I guess he's on a beach near by with some nuns or something…probably getting drunk!" Aunt Woo always surrounded herself with scandalous stories but she was very entertaining and fun to be around. "SO" She said with a deep breath as they sat for some tea "Honey you better grab that fine meat." Ursa raised her brow. "HAKODA! He's so handsome, if I was twenty years…okay twenty-five years younger you'd be out of luck because I would have taken him for some fortune telling and I'm not talking about the bones….or maybe I am!" She hollered with laughter and wiped her eyes of tears. "Listen, you need to get out of here you're beautiful but not getting any younger. Saddle up with him and start a family"

"Ursa…" She stopped but did not turn to Ozai.

"Yes fire lord Ozai?"

"You could have lived, Zuko could have died, you and I could have lived together…I, I do love you"

"Because Ozai, I love Zuko more, more than you. More than myself. When you love someone more than yourself you'd understand."

"I wish you just would have let things be… I wish you would stay with me."

"Had you not just listened to me?" He didn't answer. "Even if Isa had lived, I still would have taken these lengths to protect him. Do not feel bitterness towards Zuko. Feel it for me…"

"Isa? My goodness you're miles away wake up girl it's already sunrise"

"Oh sorry Woo-San. I don't know, Hakoda is always off to war and has two children already…I don't think I could invade that"

"OH PU-LEASE HONEY! He wants and needs a mother for his kids. IN FACT I think there suppose to be heading this way soon. Maybe you could get comfortable!"

"I wish I was as initiative as you Woo-San. I don't think I could ever be so forward with him."

"Ah, is there another man?"

"Oh no" Ursa said with a laugh

"Don't lie to me" the light atmosphere transitioned into a more serious one.

"What?"

"Isa, We need to talk." She motioned for her servants to leave. "The day you came here I read your palms, and they spoke loudly to me. You were so frightened I'd discover something. And good reason, but I'll have you know dear Isa I am well aware you are from the fire nation"

Ursa's heart throttled. "H-how did you know?"

"Psf it wasn't that hard to figure out. And your palms gave me some hints" She winked and moved closer to Isa. "Start out by telling me your first name"

"Woo-San…I don't think you understand, I have a very dark and forbidden past, you would be shocked at my story."

"Try me dear"

"Isa, was the name of my child who did not survive the first three weeks of her life. The man you are thinking of is either my son or my brother in law neither of which I can ever see again."

For a while Ursa explained all that she had experienced for the last twelve or so years, and Aunt Woo listened.

"My…queen of the fire nation, well that is quite scandalous!" She smiled again but it dropped. "Isa I mean…Ursa…there is something you need to know. A few weeks ago there was a man one that looked like Iroh as you described him…he was with a boy." From a small box she reveled a poster that read "Wanted fugitives" there printed in faded ink was Iroh's kind relaxed face. And below him… was a boy who looked a resemblance of Zuko but, there was a horrible scar upon his pale face.

"Yes, that is him but… that boy…" She touched his face "My son does not have a scar like…Ozai…"

(A/N: Okay that's a good place to stop…interesting no? By the way I was listening a lot of TATU (Not gonna get us) Sort of inspired me for the first half. Anyway sorry for the delay but I don't want to rush through this even though it's not my best work it will have to do for now. Well let me have some feedback and we'll see


	8. Better to have loved, and felt pain

(A/N: Sorry it took me so long my internet is down so I'm using my BFF's computer 'sigh' alright lets move on)

Ursa was suddenly in such hysteria, before, before she had no plan, no idea what she was going to do. She thought maybe she could live here…forever in peace. She thought…Hakoda. NO! Everything had changed now. She damned herself. How could she have just forgotten about Zuko? Her love? After seeing that image…she placed her hand on her forehead and swallowed. That horrid mark upon his face his innocent face. Ursa clinched her fist, she couldn't remember a time when she had thought about Zuko prior to seeing him on that wanted poster with Iroh. She had convinced herself that it was because Zuko reflected everything firenation being the prince of it. No, that wasn't it at all it was the most selfish of things as to why she had banished him from her thoughts. Iroh, he was so much like him, not in apperence at all but his soul…it was identical but confused and lost. With all that had happened with her and Iroh , she didn't want to remember that pain…and how it connected with her son.

"If only…I hadn't fallen in love. ARGH! I DON'T WANN BE IN LOVE" Aunt Woo came to her trying to hush Ursa who was sobbing and yelling at herself. "Woo-San all of this…" She fell onto her front. "Could have been a bad dream if I had just…if I had not loved Iroh."

Aunt Woo shut the door behind her and stood in front of Ursa. "Get up!" She didn't get up but she did look at aunt woo.

"What?"

"Stop this Ursa, this self-loathing it's disgusting and unlike you. "

"What do you know about me?" She stood wiping her eyes "You just found out who I am!"

"NO! I just found out who you were!" There was a silence and Ursa felt like falling into her arms but felt it impossible after her outburst. She bit her lower lip and for a moment tried to think, all that came was rushing thoughts of Zuko and where to find him. "Now…" Aunt Woo had already forgiven Ursa and placed her hands upon her shoulders. "What you need to do is find your son. When you do that please…come back. Hakoda will be waiting for you…I'll be waiting for you"

"Even if I did find him…" Iroh's smile, it flashed in the face of the ocean.

"Ursa listen to me…you and I both know there is no home for you in the firenation, please" She moved away, not even bothering to take her bag , Ursa ran. She felt if she stayed another minute even to say goodbye, she might not have the strength to be where she needed to be. Zuko, be safe she thought, I'm coming and everything will be alright.

Hakoda's stomach twisted up inside, it revved up to his throat and made him swallow constantly. Surely he had no reason for this...it was ridiculous how anxious and nervous he was. When he was a young man he was so suave and cool now he was a swallow away from a break down. And SURELY Isa 

had to be thinking of him the way he thought of her. There had been so many moments where they were close to making a connection... yet she was modest and a bit shy how it made her all the more lovely. Aunt Woo came from her lavish home with a frustrated and exulting expression.

"Whats wrong?"

"OH it's Ur- Isa..." His brow raised and inquired further. "Well she's um... she's recollected everything since you met on the beach some oh what was it ten years ago"

"THATS GREAT!" He exclaimed grabbing Aunt woo in a hug

"Well yes and...not yes. She has a son"

His happiness faded "Oh..."

"But..." She said a bit teasingly "No husband he died many years ago in the war...her son was separated from her...tragic really" Aunt Woo smiled to herself she was having so much fun making up stories from Ursa who was now going to leave in search of Iroh and Zuko. "She has left to find her son, she believes he might be in Ba Sing Sei, and she said she would return when she found him"

"Oh…I wish she would have let me come with her but I can't go all the way to Ba Sing Sei anyways…"

"Hmm very true but when you're finished with the war which I'm sure you will be shortly, you can come back here can't you?"

"Of course…I"ll look forward to it"

_Zuko's Point Of View Aka POV)_

_Uncle... I see you lying asleep on this cold filthy ground and I wonder how you close your eyes and sleep so easily. How can you not want the warm and soft beds we are accustomed to? Why don't you care that we're starving practically and living like bandits or worse peasants! _

_Uncle... how can you still smile after all that you've gone through? War, death, betrayal by your own blood and now emptiness in enemy territory. How can you stand it? Knowing your younger brother has what is yours! Aren't you furious?! Why do you not resent those earth kingdom soldiers who slaughtered your son? Where are your nightmares? Where inside you is remorse? _

_Uncle...I envy you. Even in your times of grief you managed to create happiness for yourself...how? It was genuine not the determination I made up for myself. Life is so simple and I don't see how but I see it and I want it! I wish I could just forget my turmoil and just forget the fire nation and live in peace with you. But...I can't. Despite that Azula had basically told me father didn't want me and I would never be _

_accepted, I still want it. I want his praise and I want his approval. Why uncle can I not be happy with yours? Why do I continue to surround myself with those who hurt me? _

_Uncle... I never told you how sorry I was for saying those things to you. That you were lazy and incompetent. Still you stay with me...still you left your home to ensure I would be safe. It's not like my mother would have found out...you could have left me long ago...yet you linger with me. You walk with me. You starve with me. You struggle with me. And I...I just yell at you and run away! I cause you trouble. You're the only one besides my mother who gave me a second thought. And I've never been more grateful in my life. But I wont tell you._

_Uncle...up until now I didn't take those things to mind. I'm too embarrassed to just say it out of nothing. After years of this. I'm too proud to admit that I was wrong, that I am not as strong as you are. That I'm stupid and would waltz back to my father if he asked me to. Because I want so much to be the perfect son... I just hope you can make me want to be the perfect nephew. _

(Sorry it's so short but I thought I"d get something out there. OH btw if you haven't seen 315 yet let me just say it's amazing…and I'm so happy I could cry! ;; anyway there you have it I'll try and think of the next plot twist! HAH!)


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